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  • Writer's pictureEdie Montreux


It’s that time of the month again – that paranoid time when I think everyone is talking about me behind my back.

Dude 1: “She went to a gay convention! And then she put it in her blog!”

Dude 2: “She has a blog?”

Dude 1: “Here, let me show you.” 

A coworker five tables and a wall of sound away shows another coworker his phone, and this is how my imagination chooses to put words in their mouths. Before lunch ends, I’m shaking and sweating and cannot wait to get back to my desk.

This happens all the time. It’s why I write–the voices in my head won’t shut up. It’s also why I’m so overcome with paranoia when I’m having my period. Thanks, menstruation, you fucking horrible bitch.

I have so much I want to talk about, but my paranoia is too high right now. It’ll be better to share next weekend. That way, if people ARE talking about me at work, I will be on vacation! KISS MY ABSENT ASS!

Until then, I’m going to censor my thoughts and keep my news (and my rants) to myself.

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