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  • Writer's pictureEdie Montreux

Expert Shitposter

Thanks to someone named "Wolf" on Twitter, I am now following someone named "Bat" on Twitter, because of this tweet:

Whoever you are, anonymous resume writer, you have made my day. I'm now trying to decide who this character would be, and how I could incorporate them into a novel.

I say "them," but you all know I write m/m, so I'm really trying to decide who he is and what he's about. I want to see a copy of the resume. Was it online, or on parchment paper printed with laser precision? Was there an attached business card or cover letter with a logo or some bullshit design from Word? (Not knocking it - I use a bullshit design from Word on my letterhead.) Was the letter signed with a flourish or electronic signature?

Nah. It's a woman, and she doesn't give two shits about what people think. She's the main character's little sister, and like Bat, he's been trying to convince her not to send her fake/joke resume to any company, even if she is just trying to get the goat of someone at Boeing or DuPont. She's hoping for an interview so she can interview them, asking why they're such horrible polluters. She never expected to get a call for an interview, so when she does, she's shocked and leans on her brother for advice.

Excuse me while I find a notebook and madly scribble the rest of the story.

Edited to add: I tried to contact Bat before posting, but the account's set to no messages. I don't even know if sending an @ is appropriate? Help, hive mind.

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