For My Bestie
My best friend in the whole world is going through a really tough time right now. There are some things I’d like to say to him, but I know they would come out all wrong, so I’ve come to you for help. Please, if this moves you to post some words of encouragement, please post them. He needs to know that there is still kindness in this world.
My ex once told me that I said I loved everything, so he couldn’t believe that I loved him with any depth of emotion. It took time, two years in fact, but I changed the way I talked about love. Do I really love this thing? Or do I like it a little?
That was one mind-fuck of many, so don’t feel bad for me. This one was easy to fix. “You know what, asshole? I do love hot chocolate. It makes me feel all warm inside and it tingles on my tongue like heaven, so yes, yes I fucking love it more than I love you.” (I shouldn’t have to tell you that the comparison was sexual.)
When I tell people I love them, I mean it. It took me a long time to tell my best friend I love him because he was tangled in the shit that was my mind-fuck ex.
I don’t think I love my bestie on the level he loves me, and that makes me sad. He has nurtured me like his child, and he loves me like he would love his daughter someday. That’s saying A LOT for someone who’s less than a full year older than me.
I’ve mentioned how NOT nurturing I am, so I feel terrible that I can’t return the love he feels for me in the same way. That’s why I need your help. He needs nurturing right now. He needs so much love.
My words for my bestie:
You are just a person. So are other people. Life is full of experiences good and bad, but it’s still life.
You’ve been emotionally fragile for so long. I’m afraid to post a song, but I will, because they played it this morning on a radio station that rarely plays Queen. I took it as a sign:
I have no other words to explain how much I love you and wish the best for you. Our story is not over, my friend.
P.S. I hate you for making me cry this much on a Saturday morning. 😛