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  • Edie Montreux

Go-Go Hate Chicken, Inc.

Once upon a time, I was friends with a conservative republican. He was a Star Wars nerd like Lemur and me. He had an IT job where he met a group of the nerdiest nerds who ever nerded. They could probably even put The Big Bang crew to shame with the depths of their pop-geek-culture reservoirs.


Said conservative republican (CR from here out) also liked to eat out on a regular basis. He and his wife wanted to try all the new cuisine in our town, so we would go restaurant-hopping on Thursday nights.



We are all from the Midwest, so we grew up with a restaurant I'm going to call Hate Chicken, Inc. If you know anything about their political leanings, you know who I mean. Ours shared a mall slot with an Orange Julius. Our biggest problem with the place as teenagers was it was closed on Sunday, and that was the day we were most likely able to get away to go shopping.


I don't know when I learned Hate Chicken, Inc. was anti-gay, but it was sometime during my friendship with CR. That was also the first time the homophobic chicken moguls decided to set up shop in the new mall. CR wanted to eat there, so we went with the entire geek squad, one of whom had only ever seen Hate Chicken, Inc. in print, and therefore thought it rhymed with Godzilla.


Friends, you should have seen the look on his face when the cheery girl with a blonde high-ponytail arching over her black visor said, "Welcome to chick-fil-aaay."



That in itself was worth going there. Once. I won't go back. For one, CR and I are no longer friends. Two, who wants to eat hate-filled chicken?


My oldest friend posted a graphic on social media awhile back, and it reignited the memories of a time before I knew Hate Chicken, Inc., was full of hate. She lived a lot closer to the mall. She has fond memories of eating there on the days it was open, whereas I always found it closed. The graphic said, "One has got to go" and showed the logos for Amazon, Starbucks, Netflix, and Hate Chicken, Inc.


Being the dumbass I am, I assumed it would be this easy for everyone. I can't live without Amazon deliveries, I love my Starbucks coffee, and seriously, who hates Stranger Things, or movies in general? I can easily do without Hate Chicken, Inc. Go, Go, Hate Chicken! Get the fuck out, don't let the door hit you in your homophobic ass, and no it's not "hitting on you," it just wants you gone.


In my friend's responses, there was some serious rage at Amazon. As for my friend, she hates coffee in general, and Starbucks in particular. Most of the votes were for Starbucks. Seriously. I was only the second in (at least) fifty responses to say Hate Chicken, Inc. has got to go.


I believe in a world where we choose restaurants for their delicious food, not to support a business through difficult times of their own political and immoral reasoning. Yes, I said immoral. I was brought up to believe it's wrong to hate people. I thought that was a common religious teaching. I must have been wrong.


Shortly after my friend's post asking (oh no!) which one has got to go, Hate Chicken, Inc. announced they would stop donating to anti-LGBTQ+ charities like the Salvation Army. I put this blog post on hold, waiting to see if they'd really change. Folks, they did not change. They made a push for PR, and that's it. They still love people who hate and want their business. They're not getting mine.



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