In My Tower

I hate myself so much right now.

Every time I give a presentation, talk on the phone when I’m not expecting it, or make spontaneous plans that never come to fruition (probably due to my lack of follow-up), I hate myself.

When all three happen in the same day?

I’m not about to fall on a sword, and that’s the only weapon we have in this house, so don’t worry. I just really, really fucking hate myself right now.

I’ll be in my office, writing. It’s not a Princess tower, but it’s my quiet place to get lost in someone else’s world for awhile. That’s why I write. I hate myself too much to be here, in the now, reliving every excrutiating moment of yesterday.

I just can’t today. I can’t.

So, I write.

Please don’t call, don’t write, don’t comment. Only I can heal this, or forget this, whichever it takes. Tomorrow will be better.

Today, I write.