Nectar of the Gods

Once upon a time, a budding novelist spent five years writing a Young Adult novel. In the end, it was 235,000 words, so it wasn’t for lack of writing. She wrote that entire book under the influence of Mountain Dew. She drank it by the bottle. Sometimes, when one liter wasn’t enough, she drank a full two Liter bottle. In one sitting. Warm, because when she brings the crazy, she BRINGS the CRAZY.

So today, she’s rewriting the Young Adult novel, only this time she admits that it is more than just edgy YA horror. It should have been a love story. It was a love story, of sorts, but it had a horrible ending and horrible parents and horrible people, overall. The ONLY part worth salvaging was the love story.

One note: she has been soda free for at least four years. She gave up Mountain Dew eight years ago because…damn. A two liter of Mountain Dew is 1020 empty calories that no woman should drink in one sitting. Over the next four years, she weaned herself slowly off Coca-Cola. It’s so hard to have pizza without an ice-cold coke, y’all.

She had 1 liter today.

It was delicious and disgusting, all at the same time. The caffeine rush afterward–amazing. And yet, so not worth it. She needs to play more Pokemon Go just to burn off those calories.

Warning…switching to first person…one can only speak of oneself in the third person for so long.

This feeling–it reminds me of Limitless. I swear, it’s  like I’m in the writing zone without the shakes I get from black coffee. Unfortunately, this drug has a side-effect of empty calories and high fructose corn syrup. I can sacrifice once, but I can’t do this all the time. Not again.

That’s why, even though I cheated today, I’m not getting back on that merry-go-round. I’ve struggled too much with body image and suicidal thoughts to deal with the withdrawal when I run out of Mountain Dew.

Believe it or not, I can quit. I’ve done it before. I hope my muse will still visit me when I drink coffee.