News Flash: Someone Still Cares

Tonight, I wanted to write about how nobody cares about Kimye, nobody cares about Kanye’s stupidity at the Grammys, nobody cares that Bruce Jenner seemed a little stunned after a fatal car crash, absolutely no one was surprised that Scott Disick is a complete douche (though I was surprised that Kourtney finally figured it out) and nobody gives a single shit about Kloe, the two little Jenners, and the Kardashian and Jenner boys nobody ever mentions anymore. (I care so little that I don’t know their names.)

Unfortunately, somebody fucking cares. Somebody watches Inside Edition. Somebody watches E!, and Kim’s sex tape, and buys Kanye’s albums.

If that is you:

That’s right. Shame on you, and shame on Brian Williams, while we’re at it. Look, I get it, everyone wants a war story, but there is no need to exaggerate. Most people get caught blowing the truth out of proportion in middle school. I guess Mr. Williams didn’t get caught until now, which is unfortunate. I like the guy. Granted, I mostly like him for this Soup segment…

Back to you. Why do you care about the Kard-ass-ians, anyway? No, really, I want to know because I just don’t get it. They’re dumb, but so were The Girls Next Door, and that show was funny and entertaining. They’re dead behind the eyes, but so are the demons on Supernatural. 

They’re cliche in every way. They don’t have a single original product, service, or thought (except Bruce, but even he wants to capitalize on his transition by making it a reality show). Why do people continue to watch every show about these people, cling to every awards ceremony where Kanye’s an idiot, and talk about this family like their own family at the water cooler?

Maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s just easier to talk about someone else’s stupid family than it is to deal with the problem children in our own families. 

All I know is, this is the last time I will talk about That Family in my blog.