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  • Writer's pictureEdie Montreux

Of Love, and Fear

I believe in love. I believe love makes the world go around. I believe love is all you need. I believe love is the reason for life in the universe. I believe in one God of love in its purest form.

Love in its purest form leaves no room for fear.

Love in its purest form asks, “What would love do now?”

During the Obama administration, the United States made great strides toward being a country governed out of love. We attempted a sweeping gesture of healthcare reform to provide healthcare to all Americans. We legalized marriage equality. We removed Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell from the military and allowed out, proud, and trans people to serve. We attempted to address the still prevalent race and gender inequality in this country. We started to make great strides in that area.

And now, we are led by fear.

For some reason, President Trump is so afraid of President Obama’s legacy he’s attempted to destroy every good thing Obama did. Is Trump really afraid of what our country will become if we treat people the same, regardless of skin color, gender, or sexual orientation?

Fear is the great divider. Fear pits one person against another because of religious beliefs, while love recognizes the humanity of both religions and allows them to coexist. Fear pits one person against another because of skin color, while love acknowledges that we are stronger together, regardless of our differences. Fear thinks a person who lives out his dream of loving and marrying another man will somehow impact the sanctity of a heterosexual union. That is only true if you married for any other reason than LOVE.

Love. Is. All. There. Is. 

Fear is a made-up human construct based on animal survival instinct. We live like animals when we are afraid. We are better than that. We are sentient beings with human intelligence. Granted, we are not the smartest or most highly evolved beings in the universe, but we’re smart enough to know better. We can do better.

Stop being afraid of other people.

Start by loving yourself. Only by loving yourself can you begin to love others. Only by loving yourself will you see you’ve been living in fear all your life. Only by loving yourself will you no longer accept when others treat you poorly or take advantage of you. Only by loving yourself will you realize there’s nothing you can do to change someone else’s beliefs or experiences. You can only control what you think, what you say, how you act.

While it is instinct to fear, it is our first thought to love. We have tamped down our love out of fear of rejection, out of fear there isn’t enough love to go around and we will run out. We have rejected love out of fear of how the ones we love will react to yet another ship, yet another hobby, yet another LOVE. This fear is real. I lived with this fear for years. My ex trained me to love him and only him. That’s bullshit, though. Someone who truly loves you will love who you are even more when you express your love. Rock that ship. Watch and comment on your favorite shows, books, people. Love everything in your life, and if you don’t love it, move on. Life is too short to focus on the things you hate. 

Expressing your love can be as easy as calling your parents, baking an apple pie from scratch, or writing a little poem for your dog’s birthday. It can be purchasing books you will never see for children you will never meet. It can be as small as making your favorite cup of tea, or sharing the title of your new favorite book with a friend. 

You will recognize the people who act out of fear when they tell you not to do this. You shouldn’t waste your time on other people, they say, and then they turn around and call you selfish if you do a single thing to take care of yourself. This is the fear construct. Love them, for they know not what they do. Their eyes have not been opened to love.

It’s not your job to open others’ eyes to love, either. If they’re not ready, they’re not ready. I’ve spent a lot of time and earned a lot of heartache in my life by trying to change others’ opinions of fear to love. It does absolutely no good. If people want to be afraid of my big hair and my big mouth, they will be. Nothing I say or do will change their minds.

What I can change is my own reaction to their fear. Instead of fearing right back, I choose to love. I love what I do, and I have no time for bullshit. I love myself and I love my readers. I spend my time focused on that love, which allows me to provide the best product. It also means I don’t have time to focus on distractions caused by fear.

Something pulled you to read this blog today. I hope you will begin to focus on your motivations, and see that fear is not a way to live. Ask yourself, “What would love do now?” and do it. That’s the first, easy step.

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