Optical Delusions
My eyesight has continued to deteriorate. I'm now at a -15 in my left eye, the highest prescription my current ophthalmologist can prescribe. (My right's at -13...not much better.) My prescription must be worse than that, since I can't fucking see and have constant headaches since I started wearing my new glasses/contacts. I can't read the 20/20 line on the chart with my left eye, with either my new glasses or RGP contacts.
I met with a LASIK surgeon this week. My prescription is too strong and LASIK would flatten my corneas too much. He suggested lens insertion. It's mostly done on elderly patients who qualify for cataract surgery.
I am forty-(mumble) years old. If there's a hint of a cataract now, it won't materialize for another thirty-plus years. I'm not stupid. I've watched my mom wait for the last ten years as her surgeon dangles the "We can correct your vision when we remove your cataracts" carrot before her. As of her appointment earlier this summer, they're still not bad enough for insurance to cover the surgery.
I'm also worried the lens insertion won't work for me because I have large pupils, another of my issues. Streetlights look like stars because my eyes dilate beyond my contact lenses in the dark.
So what do I do in the meantime? Go blind? Is there no help for severe myopia after the -15 mark? I'm too young for this bullshit.
I don't want to be here. I need an escape from this world right now. I'm going to write a better place. I'll be in my writing cave if you need me. (Don't worry - it's well lit.)
