• Edie Montreux

Tuesday’s Top Ten: A Bucket List for Pets

I’ve never been one for bucket lists. There are experiences other people want to have before they die that don’t interest me, or that I know damn well will never happen. It’s different when the one dying is dependent on you, and can’t tell you what it wants.

That’s right–now pets have bucket lists, too. Maybe it’s a first world problem. Maybe we feel guilty for not spending more time with our pets and leaving them home alone (I know I do). Either way, we need to make that one final shove toward good karma, and this is it.

These ten items are my bucket list for my elderly pets:

10. Whatever you do, take tons of pictures. Even if you don’t share them on Facebook or Instagram or wherever, at least you’ll have the memories. 

9. Rent a convertible for a day and take your dog cruising. Note: your cat will probably hate this. Your hamster may get lost in the interior.


8. Let your cat experience catnip. I’ve never given my cat catnip, even though it grew on my grandma’s farm. (No, she didn’t farm catnip. It’s a weed. Cat weed.)


7. Go to a pet-friendly beach. Again, your cat would hate this, but your dog will love you forever. 

I know just the place. I saw a man and a dog playing fetch at a nearby lake once. Now I know why the guy was crying.


6. Let your cat eat her weight in chicken. Or fish. Or bacon. Whatever your cat wants. I hope my cat doesn’t want bacon. If my dog ate his weight in anything, we would have one sick dog and a huge mess. Not happening.


5. Go through the drive-thru. When I worked the drive-thru at McDonald’s, we handed out dog treats and pet ice cream cones all the time. I’ve never taken a single pet through the drive-thru, though my cat used to share Blizzards with me when I got home from work.


4. Catch the red dot. In our house, both the dog and the cat would enjoy this. Rodent: probably not.


3. Watch a dog or cat movie (or Cats and Dogs). You’ll want snacks, and if you’re like me, you’ll need lots of tissues.


2. Throw a pet party. Invite all of her best human friends. For our cat, that’s nobody. For our dog, we would invite all of OUR human friends so he could growl at them.


1. Write a book. I’ve already included two dogs in BATR. My guys love dogs as much as Lemur and I do. I’d better start writing about a striped tabby and a mutt so it won’t hurt so bad when they’re gone.


What’s on your pet’s bucket list?