• Edie Montreux

Tuesday’s Top Ten: Cards Against Humanity Answers

Who hasn’t played Cards Against Humanity? My friends tell me it’s the dirty version of Apples to Apples, which is a game I haven’t played, so I understand if you have not played, well, either game.

If you do play, here’s a tip: these answers are the ones you want to see pop up in your hand, although all of them are pretty hilarious when paired with the question cards. These are the ones that could win pretty much every situation, if I’m the judge.

10. Felching. Look it up. You’re going to need this:


9. Smegma. If you have any of that brain bleach left, you’re going to need it. What the fuck is wrong with these game creators?

8. Being a motherfucking sorcerer. Sharky won with this combo:


7. Peanut butter jelly time. Isn’t it always PBJT?

6. Vigorous jazz hands. What does Dick Cheney really want?

5. Some Goddamn peace and quiet. Okay, so that’s probably what Dick Cheney really wants.

4. Making the penises kiss. Because that’s always the right thing to do.

3.Two midgets shitting into a bucket. Insta-image, gross as fuck.


2. David Bowie, riding on a flying tiger made of lightning. You may be cool, but you’ll never be David Bowie riding on a flying tiger made of lightning cool.


Unless you’re Freddie Mercury:

1. Bees? Who could resist? I love answering questions with questions, and when the question is a cute little word like Bees? Yeah. Done. Final answer: you win. (And for the record, I’ve never watched Arrested Development, so until I researched this blog, I didn’t know this was a quote.)

Comment with your favorite questions/answers! Seriously. It may take me a few minutes/hours/days to read and post your comments, but I won’t delete your comments this time. Unless you’re an asshole. Then, I might because… Bees?