Tuesday’s Top Ten: Shirts I Want to Wear to Christmas Dinner

It’s that time of year again. If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry, so here are some funny t-shirts that get my mood about my family on Christmas:

10. All I Want for Christmas Is  You – Just Kidding I WANT WINE. All I want for Christmas is LEMUR, but if I have to deal with others, I WANT WINE. I don’t even like wine.

9. It’s The Most Wonderful Time for a Beer. That’s more like it, but I really don’t like beer, either. Give me a glass of champagne, and we’re golden.

8. Ding Fries Are Done. Fuck the champagne. I want Burger King. Or Dane Cook. Dane Cook and Burger King?

7. I Don’t Care If They Call Me Names. I’ll have champagne. Right? There will be champagne?

6. Santa! I Know Him! I know this is an Elf shirt, but it reminds me of King George.

5. Such Christmas. Oh, the meme irony.

4. I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas. What. I married a Storm Trooper.

Bear with me for the next three. They’re not very Christmas, but they are fucking appropriate for my least favorite relative and the bully she tries to impress.

3. Make America Gay Again. For the Trump fans in your life.

2. Never Trust People Who Smile Constantly. They’re Either Selling Something or Not Very Bright. At this point, it’s hard to say which.

1. My Momma Don’t Like You And She Likes EVERYONE. We’re still waiting for you to admit you were wrong. The Cubs won the series. Anything could happen.

I must really like this song. This is the second time it’s made it into my blog. I wouldn’t post it so goddamn much if she would just get it.

Enjoy the holidays, my friends. I’ll try not to punch anyone, but I’m counting on you for bail.